Britannia-StudyLink & Service ▼| School Ranking ▼|  Contact Us
3184 0362
Britannia StudyLink

Hong Kong Brand Development Council & British Council recognised awards winning UK school placement Company. Annual partner of South China Morning Post and SingTao News Group in providing Hong Kong's largest UK school recruitment events. Britannia help over 1000 students to study in the UK in the past four years.

For Customers

If you have any questions, send us an email via this link, and we will reply within 24 hours.

Call Us
3184 0362
Clear All Advance Search
| EN
Thursday 27-Oct-2016
【SCMP Education Post:Parenting Tips】Micro-managing kids and "checklisted" childhoods

Children should be able to lead varied and fulfilling lives with the freedom to make decisions for themselves. The modern world has meant that many parents have begun to micro-manage kids into leading predictable, pre-programmed lives, where making mistakes is frowned upon rather than seen as a sign of self-development …

 

I have spent the last four years consulting with thousands of wonderful Hong Kong families and I, myself, realise the financial and psychological commitment required to send a child to boarding school in the UK. I also realise what may spur Hong Kong parents into what may be construed as “over-parenting”. Who would not worry if their son or daughter was 6000 miles away?

 

That said, I am still positively reeling from a Ted Talk given by Julie Lythcott-Haims which focuses on how to raise successful kids - without over-parenting. According to Lythcott-Haims, there is a tendency for parents to “hover over every happening” and that they should be “micro-managing at every moment”.

 

The notion that children lead a “checklisted childhood” is hard to overlook. They have to be fed and watered, they have to go to dance class, get the right scores, top awards, partake in sports activities, start a club and even do community service. Lythcott-Haims mentions that kids have to perform at a level of perfection never seen before and that parents have assumed the role of “personal secretaries” rather than providers of love and affection.

 

Strong words, clearly, but should they be consigned to oblivion? Such structure may all be in the name of a child getting into an esteemed university and going on to have a career in the professions. Who would not like to attend Oxbridge or Harvard? Let us not forget, however, that this tiny handful of colleges denies almost every applicant and many successful people came from less prestigious institutions too. However, cramming for every test and parental pressure is perhaps less helpful for a child than leading a healthy life, following a balanced curriculum, discovery and freedom of choice.

 

Lythcott-Haims makes the point that kids often ask counsellors “what grades do I need to get into college?” and not “What might I be interested in?” Certainly, we do not want our children to burn themselves out and spiral into depression through putting material goals before spiritual goals and self-satisfaction.

 

Fortunately, British boarding schools have picked up on the “A* grades at all costs” frenzy and attempted to switch to a whole child approach to education where the Great Outdoors and a striving for happiness are vital elements of a child’s education. Importantly, children do not just hone their academic and character-building skills but also learn from their mistakes. I, for one, had to collect leaves from the playing fields after breaking boarding house rules and became a better and more grateful person for it.

 

We need to appreciate what boarding schools do for children and not get so bogged down with mark schemes and future careers. We also need to stray away from conversation based on academic successes. How far would the question “What was nice about lunch today” go in comparison with “What mark did you get in that Geography test”? Children will pick up on this and feel more loved for it. Indeed, the Harvard Grant Study actually found that happiness comes from love and human interaction as opposed to a love of work.

 

Another important point from the study, which Lythcott-Haims refers to, is that children need to contribute and do chores around the house early in life in order to foster a “pitch-in” mindset. This will bear fruit later on in life in terms of professional success and getting ahead in the workplace.

 

When it concerns Hong Kong children away at boarding school, parents may mean well by hiring online tutors, checking up on academic progress and general well-being via whatsapp and flying to the UK to be with children at half-term. However, where do we draw the line between being controlling and doing the right thing?

 

I have been to boarding school but I have not got children. As an empathetic person, I am on everybody’s side. However, we need to steer children towards self-efficacy, making mistakes and then learning from them and not getting too bogged down with structure and details.

 

When I consult with children and parents, I try to be as humanistic as possible. I ask children ‘do you have any friends in England?’ because compassion and interest in a person means so much more than academic talent and grades.

 

Hong Kong children are noted for being hardworking and studious and we do not want to lose that. We do, however, want to set them on “humanistic” path to self-discovery and self-efficacy.

 

Original article: 
http://www.educationpost.com.hk/resources/education/161027-overseas-education-uk-micro-managing-kids-and-checklisted-childhoods

Free Subscription
Subscribe
We will provide you with the latest information about seminars and expert analysis via email. We will also conduct survey occasionally to enhance our quality of service. If you would like to receive information of UK education, please leave your email address and click “subscribe” to confirm your subscription. You may cancel your subscription anytime via email.

For more information on our privacy policy, please click here.
#Hot Topic
1 Boarding Know-It-All 2 UK Universities/ UK Higher Education
3 UK Chitchat 4 Helpful tips when study abroad
5 UK Study Tour 6 UK School Guide
7 Benefits of Study Abroad 8 How to maintain a good relationship with your child
9 UK Schools Comparisons 10 Experts Advice on Studying Abroad
Education Experts

Samuel Chan, the winner of Alumni Awards 2017, is the founder of Britannia. He had studied in the UK since the age of 9 for 15 years and achieved his master degree in International Political Economy at University of Warwick. Now he shares his experiences and professional advice in education columns in Hong Kong’s major newspapers.

...

Mabel Chan is the Principal Consultant of Britannia. Having studied in both the UK and the US, she is an expert in school matching for overseas education. She writes education columns for Sing Tao Daily and The Standard, and answers questions arising from parents and students patiently.

...

MB Cheung, our senior consultant, has been writing education columns for major local newspapers for more than 25 years. With his experience and unique insights, he shares a variety of tips and advice on overseas education for the readers (and DSE students)

...
#School Analysis
Considering its reputation, Oundle School may not catch up to Eton, Wycombe Abbey and else top elite schools. However, Oundle’s academic performance is among the best in the United Kingdom. As a traditional top boarding school, Oundle pays huge attentions to student’s holistic development, by providing them diversified extra-curricular activities. In addition, Oundle still implements the House Dining System, which is rarely remaining among uk boarding schools. It is also one of the reasons why Hong Kong parents making a beeline for.
The ratio of teachers and students in Bromsgrove School is 1:8, which is lower than the average among uk boarding schools. In addition, according to my school visit experience, Bromsgrove has the best facilities, that it is undoubtedly one of the best three campuses in the UK. Besides, Bromsgrove spares no expense to provide students comfortable environment, it even invests on the nearby hotel and transfers it into dormitories. As a result, students can possess the “5-star enjoyment” on campus. To conclude, Bromsgrove is definitely a prospective and globalised uk boarding school.
Brighton College is Britain’s premier private school and one of the Hong Kong parents’ favourites. To understand a boarding school, despite of looking at its educational tenet, diversified extra-curricular activities and academics results, it is essential to observe the boldness of the principal. 10 years ago, after Mr. Richard Cairns taking up the duty of the Brighton College’s principal, the school ranking raises from the 150th to the top 20th. In addition to promoting educational reformation, Mr Cairns is such a good principal, that he still strives for maintaining students’ curiosity at the same time.
Education Channel
星級同學會 Bromsgrove 學生 Marcus
英語教室之英國最難讀校名 你識幾多?
英國升學的五大常見問題
A-Level、IB 和 Pre-U 有何分別?
今昔VIP之Gresham's兩代人
【英識同學會】馬天佑Mayao篇 -親赴英國見校長
【英識同學會】馬天佑Mayao篇 - 半個銅鑼灣大的優美校園
【英識同學會】馬天佑Mayao篇 - 朋友,我當你一世朋友
【英識同學會】馬天佑Mayao篇 - 寄宿留學要趁早
【英識同學會】馬天佑Mayao篇 - 求學不只求分數
【英識同學會】林柏希William篇 - 流利英文是怎樣練成的?
【英識同學會】林柏希William篇 - 成績不再是私隱
【英識同學會】林柏希William篇 - 寄宿學校大蝦細?
【英識同學會】林柏希William篇 - 魔鬼訓練
【英識同學會】林柏希William篇-人生最美好的寄宿時光
【英識同學會】孫曉慧Kendy篇 - 為了融入,你可以去到幾盡?
【英識同學會】孫曉慧Kendy篇 - 港、英女校大比拼
【英識同學會】孫曉慧Kendy篇 - 文化差異尷尬事
【英識同學會】孫曉慧Kendy篇 - 英式課堂
【英識同學會】孫曉慧Kendy篇 - 鄉郊學校 vs 城市學校
【英識同學會】孫曉慧Kendy篇 - 學校食物難入口?
Founder of Britannia Studylink Samuel Chan X HSBC: International Banking Advice

@2017 Britannia Study Link All Rights Reserved