英識教育及其服務▼ | 英國寄宿學校排名▼ |  聯絡我們
3184 0362
大學升學
英識教育

榮獲香港品牌發展局及英國文化協會認可的升學顧問中心,亦是每年《南華早報》及星島集團教育展的合作伙伴,為香港學生舉辦全港大型英國學校展覽。四年來,英識教育協助了過千名學生前往英國升學。

客戶需知

如有任何問題,請按此連結發電郵給我們,我們會於24小時內回覆

致電我們
3184 0362
清除所有選項 進階搜尋
| EN
星期四 2016年10月27號
【SCMP Education Post:Parenting Tips】Micro-managing kids and "checklisted" childhoods

Children should be able to lead varied and fulfilling lives with the freedom to make decisions for themselves. The modern world has meant that many parents have begun to micro-manage kids into leading predictable, pre-programmed lives, where making mistakes is frowned upon rather than seen as a sign of self-development …

 

I have spent the last four years consulting with thousands of wonderful Hong Kong families and I, myself, realise the financial and psychological commitment required to send a child to boarding school in the UK. I also realise what may spur Hong Kong parents into what may be construed as “over-parenting”. Who would not worry if their son or daughter was 6000 miles away?

 

That said, I am still positively reeling from a Ted Talk given by Julie Lythcott-Haims which focuses on how to raise successful kids - without over-parenting. According to Lythcott-Haims, there is a tendency for parents to “hover over every happening” and that they should be “micro-managing at every moment”.

 

The notion that children lead a “checklisted childhood” is hard to overlook. They have to be fed and watered, they have to go to dance class, get the right scores, top awards, partake in sports activities, start a club and even do community service. Lythcott-Haims mentions that kids have to perform at a level of perfection never seen before and that parents have assumed the role of “personal secretaries” rather than providers of love and affection.

 

Strong words, clearly, but should they be consigned to oblivion? Such structure may all be in the name of a child getting into an esteemed university and going on to have a career in the professions. Who would not like to attend Oxbridge or Harvard? Let us not forget, however, that this tiny handful of colleges denies almost every applicant and many successful people came from less prestigious institutions too. However, cramming for every test and parental pressure is perhaps less helpful for a child than leading a healthy life, following a balanced curriculum, discovery and freedom of choice.

 

Lythcott-Haims makes the point that kids often ask counsellors “what grades do I need to get into college?” and not “What might I be interested in?” Certainly, we do not want our children to burn themselves out and spiral into depression through putting material goals before spiritual goals and self-satisfaction.

 

Fortunately, British boarding schools have picked up on the “A* grades at all costs” frenzy and attempted to switch to a whole child approach to education where the Great Outdoors and a striving for happiness are vital elements of a child’s education. Importantly, children do not just hone their academic and character-building skills but also learn from their mistakes. I, for one, had to collect leaves from the playing fields after breaking boarding house rules and became a better and more grateful person for it.

 

We need to appreciate what boarding schools do for children and not get so bogged down with mark schemes and future careers. We also need to stray away from conversation based on academic successes. How far would the question “What was nice about lunch today” go in comparison with “What mark did you get in that Geography test”? Children will pick up on this and feel more loved for it. Indeed, the Harvard Grant Study actually found that happiness comes from love and human interaction as opposed to a love of work.

 

Another important point from the study, which Lythcott-Haims refers to, is that children need to contribute and do chores around the house early in life in order to foster a “pitch-in” mindset. This will bear fruit later on in life in terms of professional success and getting ahead in the workplace.

 

When it concerns Hong Kong children away at boarding school, parents may mean well by hiring online tutors, checking up on academic progress and general well-being via whatsapp and flying to the UK to be with children at half-term. However, where do we draw the line between being controlling and doing the right thing?

 

I have been to boarding school but I have not got children. As an empathetic person, I am on everybody’s side. However, we need to steer children towards self-efficacy, making mistakes and then learning from them and not getting too bogged down with structure and details.

 

When I consult with children and parents, I try to be as humanistic as possible. I ask children ‘do you have any friends in England?’ because compassion and interest in a person means so much more than academic talent and grades.

 

Hong Kong children are noted for being hardworking and studious and we do not want to lose that. We do, however, want to set them on “humanistic” path to self-discovery and self-efficacy.

 

Original article: 
http://www.educationpost.com.hk/resources/education/161027-overseas-education-uk-micro-managing-kids-and-checklisted-childhoods

免費訂閱升學資訊
訂閱
英識教育會透過電郵向閣下提供最新的精選內容,講座活動或專家分析,並會進行不定期的意見調查以提升服務質素。若有興趣接收英國升學的資訊,請留下聯絡電郵並按「訂閱」確認。閣下可隨時透過電郵取消訂閱。

詳情請參閱私隱政策。
#熱門話題
1 寄宿百科 2 英國大學
3 談英國 4 赴英須知
5 赴英遊學 6 選校攻略
7 留英所得 8 親子關係
9 英名校大比拼 10 留英專家分享
專家博客
英識教育創辦人及2017年英國傑出校友。九歲起接受英國教育,於華威大學政治經濟系碩士畢業,留英長達15年。現於香港各大報章撰寫教育專欄,分享對英國寄宿學校的專業見解及留學經驗。
...
英識首席顧問。曾留學英美,具豐富海外升學配對經驗。現於《星島日報》、《英文虎報》等撰寫教育專欄,耐心解答香港家長及同學升學疑難。
...
英識資深升學顧問。於各大本地媒體撰寫教育專欄超過25年,見解精闢獨到,為香港讀者(及DSE學生)提供各種海外升學竅門。
...
#院校分析
論名氣,Oundle 未追得上 Eton、Wycombe Abbey 等頂級名校,但學校的學術成績在英國依然名列前茅。作為傳統名校,Oundle 非常重視全人發展,為學生提供多元課餘活動選擇。學校奉行英國碩果僅存的 House Dining System,或是令香港家長趨之若鶩的一大原因。
Bromsgrove 的師生比例是一比八,比一般的寄宿學校低。此外,綜合我曾到訪的學校,此校硬件設施之完善,可入選全英設備最佳的三大校園。校方不惜工本為學生提供舒適環境,甚至收購附近的酒店改建成宿舍,令宿生有名符其實的「五星級享受」。此校極具前瞻性,是國際化的英國宿校。
Brighton College 是英國首屈一指的私校,是香港家長最愛的寄宿學校之一。 看一間學校,除了教育宗旨、多元化活動、成績之外,更要看校長的魄力。十年前,校長 Mr. Richard Cairns 成為 Brighton College 校長後,把學校由全英國接近 150 名推至首 20 名。除了在教育方針上大力推動改革之外,也為了保持學生的求知慾而非常努力,是難得的好校長。
升學頻道
英識作客第四回:去英留學嘅「副作用」?
英識作客﹕密司芭比 Miss Lam Lam 陳思銘 ﹕移民升學
英識作客﹕密司芭比 Miss Lam Lam 陳思銘 ﹕寄宿學校究竟讀啲乜?
英識作客第三回!Postgrad增值之路
今昔VIP之Gresham's兩代人
【英識同學會】馬天佑Mayao篇 -親赴英國見校長
【英識同學會】馬天佑Mayao篇 - 半個銅鑼灣大的優美校園
【英識同學會】馬天佑Mayao篇 - 朋友,我當你一世朋友
【英識同學會】馬天佑Mayao篇 - 寄宿留學要趁早
【英識同學會】馬天佑Mayao篇 - 求學不只求分數
【英識同學會】林柏希William篇 - 流利英文是怎樣練成的?
【英識同學會】林柏希William篇 - 成績不再是私隱
【英識同學會】林柏希William篇 - 寄宿學校大蝦細?
【英識同學會】林柏希William篇 - 魔鬼訓練
【英識同學會】林柏希William篇-人生最美好的寄宿時光
【英識同學會】孫曉慧Kendy篇 - 為了融入,你可以去到幾盡?
【英識同學會】孫曉慧Kendy篇 - 港、英女校大比拼
【英識同學會】孫曉慧Kendy篇 - 文化差異尷尬事
【英識同學會】孫曉慧Kendy篇 - 英式課堂
【英識同學會】孫曉慧Kendy篇 - 鄉郊學校 vs 城市學校
【英識同學會】孫曉慧Kendy篇 - 學校食物難入口?
英識教育陳思銘Samuel Chan X 滙豐銀行:海外理財貼士

銅鑼灣 • 禮頓道 (852)3184 0362
銅鑼灣禮頓道29號華懋禮頓廣場28樓全層

旺角 • 朗豪坊 (852)3702 6389
旺角亞皆老街八號朗豪坊辦公大樓二十二樓02室

深圳 • 福田區 (86) 17817947841
深圳市福田區金田路中州大廈1410室

馬來西亞+603-2771 7977
A1-18-07, Arcoris Business Suites, Jalan Kiara, Mont Kiara, 50480 Kuala Lumpur

@2020 Britannia Study Link All Rights Reserved