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Tuesday 17-Apr-2018
【Oh!爸媽】海外升學中介不告訴你的二三事

大多數家長會認為,阿仔阿女去英國讀書,父母能給予的最大支持,莫過於跟埋去英國送開學。天下父母的苦心可昭日月,但我個人的見解是,除非同學仔年紀真的太細,否則這一步不單止不必,甚至可能窒礙同學仔適應新生活。君不見英國本地的家長都是在開學日把子女丟下便走人?對於海外學生來說,校方其實已有密不透風的安排,由專車機場接送到做校服辦手續,家長完全就不必費心,遑論要越洋過海親力親為。更何況,開學的整個過程,根本就是鍛鍊學生獨立的好機會。小朋友出國讀書,要數開學這段時間最難忘,也是結交朋友的黃金空檔。作為新生,同學仔既可與其他新生嘆同病相連而相交,也可藉向舊生請教垂詢來結緣,傾偈閒談間,年輕人的友誼一下就萌芽。如此關鍵時刻,若有父母如殺蟲水般尷尷尬尬棟在旁邊,反成了交友的障礙。

 

話說上次我赴英作校訪,正值開學大日子,上課前一刻,有眼泛淚光的港媽眾目睽睽下充滿戲劇性地衝上前向兒子送上熊抱,得到阿仔淡淡的一句:「阿媽,不如你返去啦。」語氣之冷理應招來雷公劈,但站在其立場一想,新學校新學期,在新同學面前,同學仔也無非只是想快快樂樂上學去啫,家長實不必上演驚天動地的煽情一幕。我送過這麼多學生到英國,他們很多都私下告訴我,開學寧願父母早些回港,好讓他們及早自在地融入校園新生活。可見為了子女著想,家長陪開學這張機票絕對可以慳番。

 

很多家長又覺得,送仔女出國既然要狠心,那就狠心到底,阿仔阿女一走,家長就瀟灑地拍拍屁股,將子女全權委託學校。這當然我也絕不贊成。子女去到英國,家長不應只在他們放假回來時,才大興問罪之師:「為甚麼成績追不上?平日有無自己操多些舊卷?」又或者「為甚麼肥了回來?有沒有熱心參加欖球板球?」反而,家長應在平日多關心仔女,更應對學校發生的大事如重要球賽,或社際表演等資訊瞭如指掌。

 

——嗱,之前教大家慳了開學的那張機票,在這些場合便可大派用場。家長如果知道阿仔阿女將出戰球賽或現身舞台,彼時若能遠赴捧場,對他們會是莫大鼓舞。再不然,機票也可留待年尾的結業典禮,這是英國學校的年度大事,本地家長都會抽空參加。香港爸媽如能撥冗赴會,到時吃著英國夏天的草莓,分享子女經過一年學習洗禮後的喜悅,誠是一大樂事。阿仔阿女如預先知道爸媽會飛來看結業,相信全年也會特別努力,要為父母帶來驕傲。

 

最後,不少家長都發覺互聯網令免費越洋通話話咁易,日日Facetime不是夢。於是我親眼見過有家長隔日便和子女視頻通話,而且非常癡纒寃氣:「BB你點呀?BB有冇食嘢呀?有冇人蝦BB?」父母這樣其實是放不開手的表現,對子女適應新生活沒有幫助。當然,通話是有需要的。回想我當年留學無得上網,十日八日也會撲去電話亭向家人報個平安,關心一下家中近況。始終親子關係是需要努力和付出來維繫,但切記要適度,也該重質多於重量。父母與其通話時要求子女報流水帳:這科取了幾多分,那科幾時有考試⋯⋯倒不如以經驗分享作為溝通內容,讓他們陳述一下近日學了些甚麼、校園有甚麼有趣事情發生,更能拉近彼此距離。 

 

以上兩三事,都是家長尋求海外升學諮詢時,一般中介不會提醒告訴的。不過其實背後道理只有一個:爸爸媽媽既然忍生離之痛送仔女去英國學做個自信獨立、眼光遠大、溫文爾雅的英式紳士淑女,他們讀書期間,父母就不要再把他們當作長不大的阿B和B女,而應以待紳士淑女的方式對之,給予他們成長所需要的空間、支持和尊敬。 欲需討論更多如何適應英國寄宿,可inbox到我Facebook 專頁 www.facebook.com/ukchitchat或發短訊至61075222。

 

作者:Samuel Chan

原文:http://www.ohpama.com/284962/overseas/samuel-chan-%E6%B5%B7%E5%A4%96%E5%8D%87%E5%AD%B8%E4%B8%AD%E4%BB%8B%E4%B8%8D%E5%91%8A%E8%A8%B4%E4%BD%A0%E7%9A%84%E4%BA%8C%E4%B8%89%E4%BA%8B/

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With an entrepreneurial spirit spreading across online, print and broadcast media, Samuel is an award-winning educational consultant and celebrated columnist. As a leader in the field of education, he was honoured with the British Council’s Study UK Alumni Award and his most prestigious achievement to date includes the founding of Hong Kong’s premier educational brands - Britannia StudyLink, Anglo Belgravia and Ascent Prep. 
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Mabel Chan is the Principal Consultant of Britannia. Having studied in both the UK and the US, she is an expert in school matching for overseas education. She writes education columns for Sing Tao Daily and The Standard, and answers questions arising from parents and students patiently.

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MB Cheung, our senior consultant, has been writing education columns for major local newspapers for more than 25 years. With his experience and unique insights, he shares a variety of tips and advice on overseas education for the readers (and DSE students)

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