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Tuesday 26-Apr-2016
讓專業的來

有時候,我會面對一班對子女過份緊張的家長。我不敢說他們「怪獸」,因為未至於跟出跟入、要人綁鞋帶、餵食飯之類。但他們對孩子們的一切事情都非常著緊,父母的愛變成對孩子的壓力,有時我都看得捏一把冷汗。

 

例如,家長們會上來公司問我關於學校試卷的問題,「會不會問這個那個?作文題目會否很深?你們有沒有past papers?如何幫孩子操卷?」十條八條問題問得我喘不過氣來。通常,我會有一個答案:「冷靜,讓專業的來。」

 

專業的,不是我,而是孩子們。畢竟,升學的事,考試面試的事,是學生的事,他們才是最清楚這一切的人,所以應該留給他們自己處理問題。尤其是家長們選的是英國,就更加要讓孩子自己來。

 

原因?和你想送他們去英國的原因一樣。孩子們去海外讀書,為的是甚麼?沒錯,獨立生活,自我學習,啟發,認識朋友。這些都是父母在場就難以做得到的事,因為爸媽們都會為其代勞,代其緊張。

 

除非你本來就想跟著子女去英國或者移民,照顧周到無微不至,否則,在香港的時候,你就應該讓專業的學生們自己來,做一次獨立的演習。

 

原因之二,在於學生們自己應有的緊張感。最終要讀書的不是爸媽們,而是學生自己本身,如果爸媽早就幫他們安排好一切,路也鋪平了,不但會令學生到英國時更難適應沒有了父母在身邊的落差,也親手毀了學生對自己前路應有的責任感,令他們容易對所有事情take it for granted,爸媽口中常說的「身在福中不知福」,有時也許是自己造成。

 

原因之三,你也得讓孩子知道自己在做甚麼。最誇張的,我甚至見過有家長自己來找我討論,孩子也不上來,因為爸媽說「他不懂的啦,我們較清楚。」不懂,是因為你沒有給他機會學習。一些學生只知道上來考試面試,有多少份卷要做,甚至對報了甚麼學校,何時出發也沒有概念。

 

至少,要問試題問貼士的話,也讓學生自己來吧。始終路是他們自己走的,自己也應參與其中。對呀,在決定踏上升學路的一刻,你已經要有種覺悟,這不再是香港的填鴨式餵食飯教育,而是實實在在的英國式自我啟發教育。而學習,還是學生比你專業,讓專業的來吧。



圖片:Hideaki Hamada

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Samuel Chan, the winner of Alumni Awards 2017, is the founder of Britannia. He had studied in the UK since the age of 9 for 15 years and achieved his master degree in International Political Economy at University of Warwick. Now he shares his experiences and professional advice in education columns in Hong Kong’s major newspapers.

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