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Tuesday 03-May-2016
技安不可怕

小孩子去到英國讀書後常遇到一系列的問題,適應生活有難度不在話下,而最棘手的,是bullying。Bully有好多種,被同學打、被改花名、被排斥、被取笑等等,容易為他們留下一生都揮之不去的陰影。

 

我們總不可能時時刻刻監視著課室內外學生們發生的事情,而如果被欺凌者去舉報欺凌者,後果多數是欺凌者不忿氣而加強欺凌的程度,或是在下次欺凌時將證據收得更隱蔽令老師難以發現。

 

另一方面,同學身在異鄉,即使找學校協助亦不及在自己「主場」的香港來得快和直接。孩子容易受孤立無援的環境影響,情緒比起一般欺凌情況更加低落,隨時引發更嚴重的後果。

 

欺凌問題沒有地區性,學生被欺凌不必等到去英國,在香港也可以發生。而問題亦從來沒有一個完美的根本解決方法。越講越嚴重,那麼學生要屈服於欺凌下,默默接受現實嗎?不。有些問題如果無法解決,就學習如何與其相處,或者在問題下學會保護自己。

 

例如,我有一位同事在初去英國時受到同學欺凌,但後來反和欺凌者成了好朋友,更成為同學間的開心果,眾人的中心人物。如何有這種轉變呢?如果你遇上欺凌,以下是她的建議:

 

首先,了解問題所在。有時候欺凌者並非盲目隨便欺凌他人。問題可能出自學生本身,對人態度惡劣、整天板著口面不理同學、說話直率傷害別人等等,可能會引起同學不滿,令自己成為欺凌的目標;而有些同學純粹因為外貌或者瘦削的身型被欺凌,則較難控制。

 

然後,就要解決問題。如果同學面對的欺凌是前者,可以嘗試從自身出發解決問題。嘗試對別人態度好一點,主動交朋結友,融入社群,誰人都喜歡性格開朗的孩子。

 

但如果同學根本不知道被欺凌的原因,或是改變了自己都無法改變被欺凌的情況,則要採取另一種方式:直接了解欺凌原因。學生可以主動和欺凌者「講數」,當面問為何要這樣做。欺凌者總知道自己的行為有問題,面對這種直接的質疑,他們必然膽怯。欺凌者正是看中別人不敢出聲的弱點才加以針對,所以被欺凌者主動站出來反抗的話,反而能夠令欺凌者知難以退。

 

就是以上方法,令我的好同事由傷心果變成開心果。欺凌是歷史以來的問題,即使校方也沒法完全杜絕。而家長亦不必過份擔心,最重要get prepared for the worst,技安好大隻好可怕,但最後都能和大雄成為好朋友,大雄得,你都得。



圖片:《叮噹》-藤子.F.不二雄

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Samuel Chan, the winner of Alumni Awards 2017, is the founder of Britannia. He had studied in the UK since the age of 9 for 15 years and achieved his master degree in International Political Economy at University of Warwick. Now he shares his experiences and professional advice in education columns in Hong Kong’s major newspapers.

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Mabel Chan is the Principal Consultant of Britannia. Having studied in both the UK and the US, she is an expert in school matching for overseas education. She writes education columns for Sing Tao Daily and The Standard, and answers questions arising from parents and students patiently.

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MB Cheung, our senior consultant, has been writing education columns for major local newspapers for more than 25 years. With his experience and unique insights, he shares a variety of tips and advice on overseas education for the readers (and DSE students)

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