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Friday 12-May-2017
【頭條日報:親子關係】海外升學 母親的情敵

「仔,媽年紀大,識做啦?」

俗語話養兒一百歲,長憂九十九。三十歲前,Anna從未叫過我「識做」。這一條年齡的分水嶺,似乎給了我一些啟示。

父母以前從事海鮮生意,早出晚歸的生活令我們一家難有family time。九歲到英國留學,和父母見面時間更短、更珍貴。Anna和大部份英識家長一樣,都擔心兒子到了外國讀書,會「舉翅不回顧,隨風四散飛 」,只記得在外國快樂學習,而忘記了在家鄉掛念自己的人。

事實呢?其實剛好相反。十幾年的留學「Long D」,和父母見面時間少,令我每次回港都如牛郎見織女,特別珍惜和父母相處的時間。Anna是個內斂的媽媽,瑞士雞翼、噓寒問暖、例行的飲茶食包,是我和她之間獨特的情感表達。

一樣米養百樣人,我不敢斷定所有學生都孝順。但包括我自己在內,去過外國讀書的學生,見過世界之大,只會更明白同一屋簷下,天倫之樂的可貴。Distance makes the hearts grow fonder,這說話不無道理。

一直以為,顧家就是陳思銘的孝順之道,卻忽視了自己人到三十,Anna的心態也早有改變。直到她終於開口,我才知道,原來我真的唔識做。

直到上周公司旅行,出發時望見候機室那位手抱兒子的家嫂,對奶奶呼呼喝喝,奶奶則默不作聲唯命是從。這一幕畫面尤其深刻,也頓時令我明白為何Anna最近學用微信發催婚的「長輩圖」。原來她憂我年已三十仍然不婚,更憂她的新抱不孝,那種內心矛盾,使我做仔的難以安心。

過兩天就是母親節,萬千媽媽們,尤其孩子在海外留學的,不必怕他們唔識做。人在遠方,心只會更癡家。趁此機會,我也向Anna說一句:媽,我識做。一定會努力搵到個好女仔,您可以放一萬個心。我的擇偶條件簡單,要錫你、緊張你、尊重你-我心中最重要的女人。

Anna,我愛你,母親節快樂。


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電郵:smschan1@gmail.com

原文:http://hd.stheadline.com/news/columns/651/20170512/565682/ 

文章作者Samuel Chan為英識教育Britannia StudyLink創辦人。

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Samuel Chan, the winner of Alumni Awards 2017, is the founder of Britannia. He had studied in the UK since the age of 9 for 15 years and achieved his master degree in International Political Economy at University of Warwick. Now he shares his experiences and professional advice in education columns in Hong Kong’s major newspapers.

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