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UKiset
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Friday 29-Apr-2016
Shall we talk

做升學這一行見好多溫馨家庭。Daddy Mami愛護備致,噓寒問暖,consultation的時候講野仲多過小朋友。

 

有些家庭思想較open,學生對英國教育抱有願景甚至急不及待想早點出發。但也有一種,是熱情爸媽背後不太有機會表達自己意願的小朋友。部分來自一般家庭,父母含辛茹苦儲錢送子女到外國讀書,但孩子卻不想去。見過最激動的,是上飛機那天才扭計,沒有登機,機票total loss。

 

父母一方當然嬲到爆炸,直斥女兒不聽話,浪費屋企錢,錢也其次,任性又不明家人苦心。而女兒卻反擊說家人一直沒有徵詢自己意願,一心只管要送她走,離棄她。

 

這種爭論也維持了好一段時間,重點在於家長和子女的溝通,而子女有否以參與者的身份加入討論和決策。

 

「細路仔識咩吖,淨係揀學校大唔大,多唔多野玩。仲要睇ranking同分數嘛。」好多時就是一種高高在上的家長姿態worsen整件事,孩子更反感。

 

孩子呢?通常只接收到「要去英國讀書」的message,知道父母心意已決,如何不捨都沒辦法,然後就跟著程序去做,考試面試做體檢,到最後要去哪間學校都未必好清楚。

 

所以這裡有個communication breakdown,父母想子女成才接受外國教育,孩子沒有發言權,卻未必想走。解決方法好簡單,就是埋嚟坐低傾兩句。我的立場一向都是:孩子是教育的end user,他們應該有say,在選科也好,選校甚至選去哪個國家也好。一起研究,一起討論,是最老套的親子教育formula,而更重要的,是在溝通期間讓父母知道子女在想甚麼,想要甚麼,而孩子都會慢慢明白父母的苦心,盡量配合大家的expectations,才不會令子女有種「被遺棄」的感覺。

 

So,為何有些孩子肯乖乖「上路」,有些扭計到不得了?開開心心去讀書的通常是和家人有講有笑互相討論的,不肯去的反而是乖乖坐在爸媽後面有聽無講的。

 

Shall we talk?一人行一步,一個家庭,應該是平等說話的平台。




圖片:Hideaki Hamada

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Samuel Chan, the winner of Alumni Awards 2017, is the founder of Britannia. He had studied in the UK since the age of 9 for 15 years and achieved his master degree in International Political Economy at University of Warwick. Now he shares his experiences and professional advice in education columns in Hong Kong’s major newspapers.

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Mabel Chan is the Principal Consultant of Britannia. Having studied in both the UK and the US, she is an expert in school matching for overseas education. She writes education columns for Sing Tao Daily and The Standard, and answers questions arising from parents and students patiently.

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MB Cheung, our senior consultant, has been writing education columns for major local newspapers for more than 25 years. With his experience and unique insights, he shares a variety of tips and advice on overseas education for the readers (and DSE students)

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